As long as I don't think too hard about her, I do not often get emotional. It is more like she is gone on an extended vacation, and I just don't think about the fact that she is not coming back.
Nana was never one to write lengthy letters, but what she did write was written with deep love. I have the last two cards that I ever got from her while I was in the Philippines. Today was the first time I could bring myself to read them since she died.
February 14, 2011:
"Granddaughter, It doesn't matter how many ways they come up with to connect, as long as the message comes through loud and clear... You are loved so very much! Happy Valentine's Day."
"My Dear Girl: How I miss you!! I'm praying for you many times a day. I hope you & Allie are having a good experience and accomplishing a lot. Take care of yourselves & get your rest. Hurry back! Love & prayers, Nana."
March 21, 2011:
"REJOICE in the Lord always: and again I say, REJOICE." Philippines 4:4 (One of Nana's favorite verses)
"My Precious Girl: I think of you morning, noon, & night and pray for you more often then that. Please get well & take good care of yourself & Allie. You need our prayers trying to teach children in another language. Wow what a nightmare. The Lord will be with you! I miss you SO much & love you bushels. This is another beautiful day! Nice & warm! Love & prayers, Nana."
I will never forget the last hug that she gave me in the busy Atlanta airport as tears ran down our faces. The fear was in our hearts that we would never see each other again. I will never forget the hilarity of the last phone conversation I had with her. I will never forget how the warmth of her love enveloped me in spite of the fact that we were in different continents.
Her smile. Soft hands. Warm hugs. Loving words. Coming to visit whenever possible. Listening with never-fading joy to my violin playing. Talking sense into me. Invariable optimism. Sharing her heart. Long discussions. Quiet moments by her side. Her prayers. Drying my tears. I miss Nana.
7 comments:
Shammie, thanks for sharing your Nana and the memories you have of her! She was so special and such a blessing! For some reason I always think of her carrying an arm basket of prayer - she was always telling me how she prayed for me every day. And she was right - you are LOVED! Miss you bunches. Good to talk to you today!
Nana was such a wonderful blend of spunk, tenderness, and spiritual strength. I think your phrase "never-fading joy" is a perfect description.
I don't exactly know how I got the privilege of being one of her "kids" (maybe it was when you and I played her favorite hymn at North River), but I truly believe that when I get to heaven, I'll look back and see all the times God intervened for me because of Nana's daily intercession on my behalf.
Thank you for sharing Shama.
The first holiday season after someone is gone is a bit sad, isn't it? Memories flood our minds, while we are supposed to be spreading cheer.
Dearest Shama,
I was thinking of her while we were caroling together tonight. Missing her lots. Her sunlight sparkling up each time we talked. It has been a year since my Papa died too. It is not easy. But we are ever carried forward by the prayers of people. I think that prayers are ripples that flow out forever.
Hugs!
Nana had a huge heart--she loved each of you so much.
Kelsey: She loved it when you came to our house for Thanksgiving and did all those silly songs. One of Nana's favorite things to do was sit quietly and watch all the fiasco. :D
Joel: I know she relished it when we played violin together, but more than that, she appreciated how you always showed an interest in her and would go out of your way to say hi.
Rhonda: She enjoyed that summer vacation we all took SO much! She thought so much of your family, particularly your very well-behaved children. :) She also loved Ben and prayed faithfully for his healing. It will surely be a grand reunion when we get to heaven!
Caitlin: Nana also very fond of your violin playing and how you always took time to say hi to her. One never knows how much it means to an elderly person to take just a couple minutes to pay them some attention.
Thank you all for giving a part of your heart to Nana. She treasured each of you and prayed for you often (Believe me--Mom & Nana had a LONG prayer list!).
Oh Shama, I hadn't heard! Your nana was one of the most precious people I have ever met. Tears fill my eyes now as I remember her. Grandparents are such a special part of our lives, and leave holes that only God can fill. I was so privileged to be another of her kids. Thank you for sharing her with all of us. You and your family have blessed me abundantly, and I only wish we lived closer so we could continue to meet often. I love you!
Shama dear, I just read your blog tonight and have cried my eyes out reading it. I didn't know that you had posted it until now and it resurrects a lot of emotions that don't need much to awaken them at this point in time. I, too, miss her so much every day and know that my life will never be the same! She will continue to be missed and loved by all of us. How blessed we have been to have her in our lives! Love you!
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