Servant: The Unkown

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

The Unkown

I'm really not sure how to feel right now. I am excited, sad, terrified, overjoyed--my feelings are like a bowl of soup. I leave for the Philippines in less than two weeks and will be gone for many long months. The faces of family and friends will be only a memory; familiarity will be solely in my dreams. But this is something that I have always wanted to do. I have always wanted to live in a thatch-roof hut in the middle of the jungle. I wondered what it would be like to go for months on end with no electricity. Something deep down inside of me has secretly longed to know what it's like to "rough it" long term. Tough, I know this year will be. Everyone tells me that "this will be the hardest year of your life, but the best". There is no way to adequately prepare for what I will experience. I really have no idea what to expect. But I don't have to worry--although the path is ever so ambiguous, it could not be any clearer. God has led me this far and I know He will lead me through.

I have some goals for this year while I am in the Philippines which include:

Strive off of flexibility

Learn the Palawan language adequately

Read the Conflict of the Ages series by E. G. White from start to finish

Memorize the book of James in the Bible

Take part faithfully in 777 (7 days a week, at 7am & 7pm, pray for the outpouring of the Holy Spirit)

Experience an ever-deepening relationship with God

Be an instrument in leading one soul to Jesus

The song, "I Will Go" by Steve Green is my prayer and promise:

Give me ears to hear Your Spirit

Give me feet to follow through

Give me hands to touch the hurting

And the faith to follow You

Give me grace to be a servant

Give me mercy for the lost

Give me passion for Your glory

Give me passion for the cross

And I will go where there are no easy roads

Leave the comforts that I know

I will go and let this journey be my home

I will go

I'll let go of my ambition

Cut the roots that run too deep

I will learn to give away

What I cannot really keep

Help me see with eyes of faith

Give me strength to run this race

I will go Lord where Your glory is unknown

I will live for You alone

I will go because my life is not my own

I will go

6 comments:

Caitlin said...: Dearest Shama,

I'm so happy for you... I can just hear you and Allie singing song "I will go" in my head - it will always remind me of you :)

Reading through the Conflict series from start to finish was one of the best things that I chose to do while in Brazil. I know it will be a huge blessing for you too. Each day will offer just the inspiration and comfort you need.

My prayers will travel with you :); January 6, 2011 at 10:39 AM
Kelsey said...: Shama, I loved hearing you and Allie sing that song! You will be missed and prayed for!; January 6, 2011 at 11:35 AM
Heather said...: I like your description of emotions as a "bowl of soup". I understand that imagery.
You have wonderful goals, serve a all-powerful God and there is enough heavenly strength to see you through every day you are gone...and for forever.

Take courage and be fearless for the Kingdom. : ); January 6, 2011 at 9:01 PM
Joel said...: I've been memorizing James :)

Praying for you!; January 7, 2011 at 9:55 AM
Jonathon & Allie said...: Amen Shama!; January 7, 2011 at 11:52 AM
The original blog of the Invincible Giant Peach said...: I hate getting caught up in the details, but I'm struggling to understand the first goal. Strive off of flexibility. I can't quite figure out what it means. Thrive perhaps? Anyway, I admire your goals and I'll be expecting you to recite James to me when I come in May...; January 19, 2011 at 5:45 PM